Hard to Hold A Critical Analysis

Part 2

Hotel:

* Okay, I was a Therapist for 11yrs and I have to say that Diana's little counselor speech in this scene was patently stupid and personally offensive on more levels than can be listed here. I agree with Nicki, Diana needs to have her ass kicked! And often I might add! Frankly at this point I find my self screaming encouragement to our favorite Man/Woman, Nicki! Why did it have to really be a comb?

* Jamie is half nekkid as he leaves the suite yet by the time they reach the street he is completely dressed. He got completely dressed in the elevator? Do they have Security Cameras in this place? EBAY ALERT! I smell Dutch Auction item here!

Balcony:

* Are they are wearing bedspreads? Doesn't this fancy schmancy hotel provide bathrobes.

* Note to Jamie ... throw her off the balcony and write a song about it DAMMIT!

* Who wrote this dialogue? Miss Smither's 7th grade English Lit Class? Dock:

* Pops Lawson waits until now to give us backstory ... uh ... Hello! Thanks for the Character Development and finally including us in the plot Mr. Movie!

Recording Studio:

* Thank God Jamie and Nicki wrote all those great songs on a guitar made of Balsa Wood! *Snort*

* Notice Jamie doesn't try to comfort her in any way?!? If you were Nicki wouldn't you be doin an El Kabong up along side of this guy's head!

* " Initial Diagnostic Impression: The entire cast of this movie are all alcoholics!

Retirement Party:

* Dad drunk off his ass, but Presto ...

* 2 seconds later sober as a judge on the Zeus so he can give us more backstory! Pretty sober thoughts for a drunk, neh?

* Next scene returns to being drunk as a Badger! Either these scenes were edited out of sequence or the Producer's must think we're a bunch of Stooges! Uh ... wait a minute ... I'm sitting here watching THIS and writing THIS ... Disregard last riff!

* Jamie and Diana talk about having babies! OMG ... DO NOT let THAT woman breed! No Way!

The Love Scene:

* Don't they need a screen on that fireplace (If she so much as singes that Gigolo, I will personally open a can of 10SC Whump Butt on her whiney ass)!

* Really the last scene in the movie that truly redeems it. Sweat, implied sex, long erotic shots of HIS face! Although on second thought, with all the red lighting and the inclusion of Diana, this could be a Jamie's prophetic Vision of Hell! You decide!

Dad's house:

* Jamie and the famous coffee run! I know I am restating an observation that many others have made before me, but what the Hell! Jamie goes to get coffee while Diana finds her Dad, dead on the floor. She becomes an emotional basket case at this point [Redundancy alert!], (Note she does NOT attempt to examine him, revive him, and makes the assumption that he is certain Toast!), she gets the EMT's, I assume the police, they have time to secure the body, do the obligatory death scene investigation, load the body into the Ambulance, take her Statement, and Ta-Dah! Here comes Jamie WITHOUT THE FREAKIN COFFEE!!!! Hours must have passed here. Whassup with dat Jamie? Whats the matter Son? Did you walk all the way to the Oakland Starbucks and find out they were outta Soy Mocha Grande?!? Geez!

Montage/Walking:

* Jamie is a well of empathy here, but looks sharp in the that coat. Did anyone else expect him to look up thoughtfully and say, "Bummer Diana".

* I am want to grab him by his lapels and shake him senseless at this point, "She's mentally ill Jamie ... don't you get it?"

Big Final Concert:

* We are told that Diana is moving to London and scheduled to leave that night! Yet we see her packing while the concert is getting underway. I went to AC and I was packed 2 days ahead of time! Not only is she insane, but poorly organized to boot!

* Jamie is giving his concert and at one point tosses his vest off to one side. Upon leaving the concert to intercept Diana, we discover just what a snake his producer is when he calls Diana a "bimbo". I was not so much annoyed by his being two faced, but rather the fact that all a clearly educated man as himself could only come up with "Bimbo". I personally had utilized many more names for her during the tenure of this movie, most beginning with the term "Freakin", as in "You Freakin (something that rhymes with Bitch)"!

* Jamie leaves the concert in Casserole's car without the vest.

Airport:

* We see Diana at gate #70 in the airport, yet in a matter of moments she is back in the airport lobby in time to reunite with Jamie (now wearing the vest again BTW) for one last frolic , (She must have reverted to her natural all fours position to run back that far that fast ... Ohhhh! DOUBLE MEOW! Jamie, watch out for those powerful hind legs Son!).

That's it .. thats the end?!? Geez, it looks like they took a bunch of Mentos ads, added in a soundtrack, stuck em in a blender and pressed the Mix button for this one! At this point in time, we are left to assume that Jamie and Diana lived Happily ever after! All traumas have been resolved and they go skipping into the Hollywood limelight ... for about a Friggin weekend! You and I know that after a few more days with Chick, had Jamie not gone running into the night screaming like a schoolgirl or personally carted her off to her plane for London having dropped her like a sack-o-bad-taters, the relationship would have been doomed the instant Diana discovered a mysterious cold sore that had developed on her lip!

Well, that's my take on HTH (Down).
Great Butt Shots though and for that alone I give it  ...

5 Pickles! * () () () () () *

~ Bodee ~

Additional feedback and observations provided by:
Simple Goddess
Kate
Corkie