Posted by BoDee *With enough Tryptophan in her system to knock her on her sorry Thanksgiving @$$ for a week* on Fri Nov 24 05:40:44 2000:

~HOW TO GET THROWN OUTTA THE KITCHEN ON THANKSGIVING EVE~

* Make Armpit farts every time the Cook inserts hand into the Turkey.

* Use Dinner rolls to recreate the "towel" scene from HTH.

* Insist that the Turkey be arranged in the "Soul of a Gigolo" pose.

* Comment repeatedly about the fact that the Turkey really has no "Gigolo" to speak of.

* Ask Cook if the stuff in the little plastic bag is the "Gigolo" part.

* Question Cook about the common ancestry of Roosters and Turkeys.

* Hang celery stalks outta your mouth like teeth (ala Nick Knight), tap Cook on shoulder and ask, "Wanna she wha in muh mof?"

*Wait till the Cook warns you to "Stop horsing around", and watch the dinner while she goes to the basement to find the turkey pan. This requires some set-up so you have to move quickly:

~ Set up the CD player and stick the remote in your pocket,

~ Using Fondue skewers and toothpicks fashion the raw potatoes into an audience on the

serving island,

~ Make signs outta Post-It notes such as, "Thanksgiving Virgin" & "Put me under the Drumstick". Attach to the toothpicks,

~ Wait till you hear the Cook coming back, start the music, and use the Turkey like a hand puppet to recreate your last IGE experience, (If the Turkey has already been stuffed this will require a little finesse on your part, but persevere, the enjoyment you will bring to the Cook is worth the extra effort). [Be careful ~ This WILL confuse your dog and result in repeated 'Head Tilts' for the balance of the evening].

* Intermittently go to the oven, open the door and ask, "You guys getting enough air in there"?

* Hang a sign on the oven door reading, "Closed by kitchen Fire Marshall due to overcrowding"!